It's Friday I'm in love... (never mind it's now Saturday)

This blog comes to you in three parts.

Part One: Edinburgh
I should really post my Edinburgh tour blog, but... you know when you don't want to put things into words because it devalues the event? Edinburgh kind of feels like that. I've posted all about Cambridge and Birmingham (the best night of the tour for me), but Edinburgh, though it was more low-key, is something i'm not sure I can describe because it was so unlike a normal gig day.

Part Two: my bank account
Speaking of gigs, there is a good reason why my bank account is currently so empty (read: i have about £100 in there. That's the least I've had in there in about 7 years. This time last year, I had nearly £500. I get maybe £150 a year in christmas/birthday gifts). I have spent almost all my worldly wealth on seeing my favourite bands. This wouldn't be so bad... if I wasn't a student without a job. As soon as I turn 16 I am going to annoy everyone I know until I get a job. Before that - well, I don't know. Bank of Mum and Dad is getting seriously overused. I may have to try babysitting or something equally as atrocious. I know I can't legally help out at most gigs for money until I'm 18 because of insurance from venues, but maybe I'll have a word with my bosses and see if they know anywhere I could get paid grunt work.

Part Three: just general stuff
I miss my friends. I miss some of the most incredible times I've had.

The past year has been the best year of my life. I've made so many great friends, met so many amazing people, seen so many wonderful things. I've had the best nights of my life topped and topped again, and I've got to know myself better. This time last year I was pretty shy and reclusive, but I also had no concept of limits. I'm more confident now, but also more respectful.
It's also been the worst year of my life. Hormones have hit me hard and I can recall a lot more dark times in the past year than I can at almost any other time. I might be a more confident person but I don't know if I'm a better person. I'm also more arrogant, and I've stopped caring how people (except those close to me) see me. I'm eternally stressed now, whereas I used to be carefree. And I've lost some people very dear to me and I don't know how to rebuild the bridges, or if there's even much point if they won't be willing to try and rebuild them too.

I miss being able to be silly and free, and I miss not having things to look forward to. Does that make sense? I used to love just hanging in the present day. Now I'm always thinking about the future, anticipating the next time i get to see the people i love and the next time I'll get the adrenaline rush of live music.


This blog was utterly pointless but hey, maybe reading it, you'll get to understand my mind a bit better.