Apparently my ideal life centres around my husband and nothing else.

Lostprophets was too awesome for words, so I may try to articulate it tomorrow. Today, you get a rant.
Yay? Have you missed them? If you have then... I'm not sure whether to be honoured or sad.

But first, a sidenote - I fell asleep in the brown chair in my living room today and had the best dream I'd had in a while. Yeah, it involved the LPizzles. Stu got a cape and turned into Superman; Ian ended up protecting the modesty of girls wearing skirts in windy weather; Lee had a huge grin all over his face, and of course all the 'Prophetlets had started a band at the tender age of a couple of weeks/months/years old (seriously, there should so be a Lostprophets Junior with their kids. Lee's son Daniyal is destined to be an epic drummer).

Today, in PSHE (Personal Social Health education... basically everyone talking to each other about "issues" and pretending not to feel awkward), our lesson started off by everyone lying down on the floor. Everyone sat there looking heartbroken for ten minutes whingeing about the crumbs while I was lying on my back having a nice doze. By the time everyone had spread out and settled down, our teacher decided to take us on an "imaginary voyage" through our dream life.

Right, I thought, this'll be fun. I instantly pictured myself beside a tour bus, laughing with one of my favourite bands as their friend or tech or both. I was cheerfully getting lost in my daydream when I heard my teacher's voice.

"Imagine your ideal man. Your potential husband."

Fuck, I know I'm not getting married! And though if I do end up with a long time lover then, though it'll probably be a guy, there's a pretty good chance it could be a girl as well. This, and who said my dream even involved being romantically involved with anyone anyway? I could just be single, footloose and fancy free, for the rest of my life. So straight away, I was pissed off with this. Our teacher assumed that, in our ideal life, our careers and ambitions played second fiddle to getting a guy.

Well... Okay, I could just about put up with this. I guess a guy could be part of my dream. I conjured up an image of my current biggest crush (Gus, OBVS), and settled back into my sleepy daze.

"How would he date you? How would he propose to you? What would the wedding be like?"

Um... what? So this isn't our dream future life, it's our dream future life if we were living a hundred years ago when all we had to hope for was a nice young man and a nice house. My dream future is so much more than just a lover. Sure, I've never been in love, and it'd probably be pretty damn rad, but would it really dictate my future life? If it was a choice between my friends and my love, well, I'd go for my friends as I love them all so much, and who says that friendship love is any less than romantic love anyway?

"Where would you live after you got married? And maybe, after a few years of being together, you'd have kids? Have many?"

Um, did you notice the whole I'm-not-getting-married thing? And kids ~after I'm married? What if I want kids and never want to get married? Does that make my life not ideal, not my dream, less than anyone else's dream just because they're conventional and staying within the non-controversial bounds of accepted society? Besides, if I ever felt maternal, I'd adopt. There are enough kids without homes in the world. We should sort out them before we start bringing more children into the world. And now on another note:
My cousin got pregnant at 19 and had a little boy, the best thing that ever happened to her. She got married at 23 to a man who is not his father, and now she's expecting twin girls. My point is, her life isn't conventional. She didn't get married to the first man she slept with. Maybe it didn't work out exactly as she planned it, but it's still her life and as long as she's happy, what right has anyone got to take it away from her?
This, and I was still lying on the floor, wondering why nobody had mentioned jobs yet. What am I going to do, raise the kids while my husband goes out and earns money? Hell no!

Afterwards, everyone was asked for various details. In a class of 14/15 year old girls, everyone had got an idea of their dream man. Fair enough, so had I at that moment in time, because Gus is beautiful inside and out. But nobody else seemed to have noticed the whole job issue. Out of 21 of us, I would say that 16 or 17 had mentally planned their proposals, already got their wedding perfectly planned, and worked out all the other details: "I want two kids, one for each hand. Girls, not boys." Everyone mentioned beautiful weddings and living in huge houses out in the country.

"What about you, V?"
"I'd get a cosy little flat near a tube station. Maybe in Edgeware or a nice part of London. Or maybe Cardiff. I don't know, I'm 15. Why would I have my life already mapped out?"

Everyone just looked at me like I'd told them I planned on spending my adulthood swallowing living kittens for a living.


So, that was my rant for today. My ideal life may involve a lover, but s/he will not be the be-all and end-all. And I think our society should stop encouraging girls to think like drones, a school of thought perpetuated by things like the Twilight saga, and let us be free. I bet if you'd done the same experiment in a boys' school, nobody would have all that all mapped out. My brother doesn't even know where he wants to go to uni, and that's six months away.

My dream for my life is this: be a rock journalist. Have fun. Laugh and sing and let everyone know I don't give a shit what you think of me. Screw marriage, screw a house in the country, screw kids who'll inherit my greasy hair and sore lips. I don't know what life will hold for me until I get there, and I certainly don't want to ruin it by planning too much.